When everybody is celebrating Christmas it can be hard if there is someone or something missing in your life. If that something is the miracle of a child then the celebrations that are so important for children can make your childless situation even harder to bear. It is something we hear a lot at this time of year.
The sadness that you feel when you have infertility problems can be magnified as you look on with envy at families with children or friends who are expecting. That can be even worse if you are feeling worn out from going through your fertility treatment.
The feeling of sadness that can come with infertility can feel bad enough without the forced merriment of the holidays. This time can become overwhelming both emotionally and physically - even more so if you are already feeling worn down from fertility treatment. Socialising is a big thing at this time of year and feeling down around all the festivities and child-centred activity is almost unavoidable.
1. Choose which gatherings you go to and then do your planning. Let someone like your other half or a friend know a sign that will signal they need to rescue you from an unwelcome probing conversation.
2. Always go in your own transportation, so that you are free to leave when you feel like it. If you have to depend on someone else you may have to stay longer than you want.
3. Plan what you are going to say if someone asks if you would like to have a family. The information is yours to give – or not.
4. If you do get emotional in the company just step outside for a while or go to the loo or another room and don’t worry if other people notice. Just take your time and speak to your Gynae centre when you can.
5. If you feel you can’t face something you have always done at Christmas be straight forward and tell your sister that it’s just too difficult to see your cousin with her new baby when you have been trying so hard to get pregnant. Do what you have to do to help you through the holidays.
6. Plan what you will do with time off when everyone else has returned to work.
7. Do something you have always struggled to find time for.
8. Take good care of yourself. Watching your diet and getting enough sleep will be a good start.
9. Look for a support group or speak to a professional who will understand your sadness.
10. Remember that it is all right to allow yourself to have your sad thoughts and feelings; they are all a part of you. Try to embrace them more rather than feeling guilty about having them.
If you are thinking about having fertility treatment consult with gynaecologist near you. Maybe next year you will have a new baby to celebrate. Take that first step today.
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